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Long weekend

Autumn events, highland cattle, family, feelings, tears and taking only country roads.

I finished When Women Were Birds. I loved it, felt closer to my mother and the women in my family.

I got frustrated with gender roles, the celebration of mediocre men, and double standards. How mean to me some people in my family were during hard time; whereas other family members appear to move through life blameless.

I pointed out every colour changing tree.

I organized personal files, and hung some pieces, tidied up sticks in the yard. I cuddled puppies.

I’m starting a book on the Psalms.

I dyed my hair purple.

simple simple life authenticity

Oct 12, 2021

wordswilling:

“Hysteria is within the human range of appropriate response.”

— Terry Tempest Williams, When Women Were Birds

reading this right now. it is a perfect autumn book.

Oct 06, 2021

nothing is lost.

it could be the album I’m listening to (Nothing is Lost by Luca Fogale) or the season, but I felt nostalgic and hopped on here for the first time in forever.

my heart feels excited and grateful.

and still sad for what was lost, left unsaid, destroyed in a global pandemic and in change. is it annoying to still say that? I look back at past posts, and like…that pull between excitement and new and grief and sads…it was there. but you know what? so what. it is there. IT IS ALL HAPPENING :)

although i think some of the acuteness is gone, but now sorrow is there. I think I will (we all will?) be in this in-between for awhile. I think that’s okay. I think that’s needed.

“how does one know if she has forgiven? you tend to feel sorrow over the circumstance instead of rage, you tend to feel sorry for the person rather than angry with him. you tend to have nothing left to say about it all.”
― Clarissa Pinkola Estés

the leaves are changing outside. it’s wild how fast it happens. I try to point out every one because I know they’ll be gone sooner than I think.

I miss my old neighbourhood(s) in a lot of ways. but I love this space and the roads I take now. my body feels less wired. softer. there is love in these walls. there are parts of me missing always. but I hold those spaces and I hold everything that is now. I think whatever hope was planted last year is starting to bloom. I hope it is for you too.


‘Cause if nothing is over
Then nothing is lost
After all of this
I know we’re better off
If nothing is ending
Then nothing is gone
I can feel it all around

- Nothing is Lost (Luca Fogale)

Oct 06, 2021
danielodowd: “ ioegreer ” ‘tis the damn season. A week into 2021 and holy shit. Being realistic, my first week back - while tough - was actually full of more blessings than most. Surprises, opportunities, fresh flowers, sunny days for running. But...

danielodowd:

ioegreer

‘tis the damn season.


A week into 2021 and holy shit. 

Being realistic, my first week back - while tough - was actually full of more blessings than most. Surprises, opportunities, fresh flowers, sunny days for running. But that didn’t change the heaviness in my soul that so many are feeling right now.

2020 is still fresh in my heart and mind. It is/was a visceral year. I still remember all the good, and unfortunately, still feel the bad as if it’s tapping me on the shoulder right now. I think I’ll be reflecting on it truly in the summer…

I feel like I always have something to write - but then when push comes to shove or finger comes to key, it all disperses. 

That sounds dramatic but I think part of it, thankfully, is because I’m saying enough in my real life. And also I’m listening. Trying to listen to myself, to others, to God, to nature…it probably sounds crazy, but how much time do we spend really listening? Sure we might listen to a podcast or music, but that can be so passive. And other than that, we consume. Emails, social media, work, TV, more, more, more.

So I guess you could say I’m trying to listen. Which means I might not have a ton to say right now. But I still have some thoughts :) 

Onwards into this new year <3

(via rusty-ford)

Jan 08, 2021

Dec. 11, 2020

My winter break has started in a year that felt like I didn’t get many breaks (literally and figuratively - although I know if I’m being less dramatic…I experienced a lot of blissful and grace-filled moments…).

I decided I’d give myself permission to not finalize anything. In the past, I’d be all geared up for my Christmas break, ready to tie up the year and prepare my feelings for the next one. But I don’t have final feelings on this year right now. Because have you seen this year?

So I’m leaving it open…I don’t have final thoughts on anything. I’m going to let it all swirl around - my thoughts on work, holidays past, things I miss, love, restoration, the holidays now - and that’s okay :) 

(via autumn-leaves-winter-breeze)

winter holiday thoughts growth love life life lessons

Dec 11, 2020

iambrillyant:

“i am finding my way back to myself again. slowly, patiently, intricately. i am finding roads in between my heart and my mind that connect. i am finding melodies that taste good on my soul. i stray and i take detours occasionally, but i am finding my way back to myself again.”

iambrillyant

a heading-into-the-next-season vibe <3

Sep 08, 2020

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